Thoughts On Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom's Super Bowl Trailer

     Okay, I know I said that I didn't want to see anymore footage from this movie after the initial trailer dropped for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom but I'd heard that there was going to be at least another teaser for the film during some big soccer game or something tonight so when it found its way online, I hummed and hawed over watching it because I felt I kinda ruined Jurassic World for myself a bit in the sense that by watching all of the trailers and TV spots, I more or less knew exactly how the movie was going to play out.  After being reassured in a Facebook group that it wasn't too spoilery, I gave it a watch.  Why am I not doing this as a video on YouTube?  Well, I wanted screenshots from the trailer to accompany this post so here we are.

     First off, if you haven't seen the trailer:

     Now that you have seen the trailer, here's what I think of it:

     -Okay, the opening sequence of this trailer had a couple of nice callbacks to the first Jurassic Park with the shadow on the wall and the sickle claw tapping on the floor.  When we get to this shot though, we see the Indoraptor reaching towards the girl (Isabella Sermon, I believe) very slowly and menacingly.  It's odd that even a hybrid dinosaur would reach out like that but I've heard rumors that this thing may have traces of human DNA mixed into it (God, I hope not).  I'm fairly certain that the up-close shot of its mouth immediately after this shot is an animatronic so points there!

     -This shot immediately reminded me of the InGen hunters arriving to Isla Sorna in The Lost World: Jurassic Park, only this time we get the large helicopter airlifting a live dinosaur off of the island while Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) and Franklin (Justice Smith) watch from the shores.  For a second, I thought that the dinosaur was a Spinosaurus but upon looking at it again, I doubt it.  I think this dinosaur is too small, the "sail" isn't big enough and is probably just the angle of the dinosaur's spine that's throwing me off and is more likely than not the confirmed new addition of Baryonyx, a dinosaur in the same family as Spinosaurus.

     -Hey, look!  Another shot to remind you of another iconic shot from Jurassic Park.  I said in my previous trailer review that I had no idea the Brachiosaurus was going to be in this movie until that point so I am still very happy to see them back.  Some may think that these callback shots might be trying to recapture that magic of the first film but in all honesty, that's an impossible task.  That said, this little clip gives me hope that the movie will still have some "ooh and ahh" moments, as long as the CG holds up which, for the most part, I think it looks good in this trailer.

     -I haven't seen director J.A. Bayona's horror films but the opening of this trailer as well as this shot here tells me he has a great eye for unsettling imagery.  This is the Baryonyx being back lit by some dripping lava and...damn it, it just looks cool!  I think Franklin's girly scream is a bit much when the dinosaur reveals itself but hey, I can't say I blame him either.  I just hope that his character doesn't try to cram comedic relief down our throats.

     -I really like the look of this animatronic Blue here.  In J.A. Bayona's previous film, A Monster Calls, the creature was brought to life by using animatronics that had been augmented with CGI afterwards.  Here, I'm not convinced that Blue's eye blinking is CG but probably good puppetry.  I've made it no secret that I thought Jurassic World was in dire need of more animatronics and we seem to be getting it here.  Let's just hope the story can hold up its end.

     -Okay, this shot looks cheesy but name an action/adventure movie that didn't have a cheesy moment.  My guess is that the boat is taking off without Claire, Owen and Franklin who then get into this truck and drive it off of the ramp into the back of the boat in just the nick of time before we get that shot in the previous trailer of the mercenaries looking out the back of the boat at the burning island.  Also, if you look to the left of the truck, I can't be certain but that just might be an old Jungle Explorer tour vehicle from the first film.  I know that there is one in the jungle when Owen and Blue are reunited so what's to say there aren't any others laying about?

     -I still don't know the context of this scene (GOOD).  All I know is that Owen (Chris Pratt) is far closer than I would want to be to the Tyrannosaurus Rex.  Not a Tyrannosaurus Rex, THE Tyrannosaurus Rex.  The CGI needs some work here but I think this is the only shot in the trailer that made me think that.

     -Ah, yes.  Arnim Zola himself, Tobey Jones makes an appearance in this movie.  Not sure what his role is, not bothered that I don't know, I want this movie to surprise me as much as it can, especially with that uncertain second half.  If you look on the screen behind him, you can see "Indoraptor" clear as day with different currency abbreviations next to it.  The fine text reads "Bidding Pre-Approval Required.  Online Bidding Available."  Well...this ethically questionable implication just made this more interesting.

     -Seeing as how this is a sequel to Jurassic World, it only makes sense that there be callbacks to that film as well.  This shot of Owen freezing with the shadow of the Indoraptor crossing his face reminds me of the shot of Grey (Ty Simpkins) hiding in the merch booth as the shadow of the Indominus Rex crossed his face.  I should point out that anyone who may be rolling their eyes at the idea of another hybrid dinosaur after the last one worked so well (#sarcasm), I'm not crazy about it either but to be fair, Vic Hoskins (Vincent D'Onofrio) did set this idea up in the last movie before the Velociraptor Delta killed him so it's not like it totally came out of left field.

     -Blue facing off against the Indoraptor.  I'm glad that we don't see the thing fully revealed in this trailer and I hope they don't show it in any trailers or TV spots until the movie is released.  I'm sure the toy from Mattel will be out before the film is but the toys aren't always 100% accurate, anyway.

     -Judging from the environment and the footage I saw from that behind the scenes featurette that was released the day before the first trailer, it looks like we're getting the Tyrannosaurus Rex on the mainland.  There's something in the back of my mind telling me that this original T. Rex is probably going to die in this movie but as far as plot structure goes, I'm hoping that the transition from island to mainland is smoother than it was in The Lost World since this was their goal from the beginning and not a mid-production change.  Also, I'm pretty sure this scene is recycling the unused ending from the original film where the Tyrannosaurus attempts to pull down the escape helicopter as the survivors leave the island but the Jurassic Park series has a history of recycling unused bits in later films so why would that change now?

     -Okay, this guy has got an Allosaurus (I assume) to his left, a Styracosaurus and Ankylosaurus to his right and a Triceratops charging up from behind...yep, he's screwed.  I can't help but think: who is letting the dinosaurs out?  Is it Owen and Claire?  Is that why Owen is in the container with the Tyrannosaurus?  If this is happening on the mainland, is it because the dinosaurs are getting auctioned off?  Yeah, I know that they're pushing for dinosaur rights but wouldn't unleashing these things into the local ecosystem have potentially disastrous results?  This is probably going to be something of a callback to the dinosaurs being let loose in the hunter's camp in The Lost World but I hope this implication doesn't set up Jurassic Park 6 as some sort of "dinosaurs taking over the Earth" movie.  That's purely speculation but I'm just throwing it out there.

     -The final shot of the trailer featuring the Indoraptor snatching up some unsuspecting mercenary.  Some people take issue with this scene saying that it feels more like a monster movie, which Jurassic Park was not.  Fair enough but like I said, recapturing the magic of the original is just not going to happen and I don't mind scenes like this as long as they're not all the movie has to offer, which is not the feeling I'm getting from Fallen Kingdom...I hope.  There's a part of me that hopes the mercenary in question is a character featured prominently in the movie that treats everyone else and maybe even some of the dinosaurs like garbage so that this can build up to a satisfying character death like Dieter Stark's in The Lost World.  On the other hand, there's a part of me that hopes this mercenary is just some nameless hired goon so that a "major" character death isn't spoiled in the trailer, kind of like the blonde love interest in Aliens vs Predator: Requiem where you saw her die in the red band trailer so when watching the movie, you're just waiting for her to get killed.  Granted, you're also just begging for the movie to end because you're watching Aliens vs Predator: Requiem but you know what I mean.

     As for any outright problems I had with the trailer?  I didn't mention it in my review of the first trailer but I'll admit, that trailer kinda jumps around a bit and doesn't have a smooth flow to it.  The same can be said for this one.  Personally, I think the trailer's final shot should've been the Indoraptor approaching the girl's bed but hey, I'm obviously not in charge of editing this thing.  I'm still looking forward to Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom but I also need to acknowledge that this movie and its premise could totally blow up in our faces.  While I didn't hate Colin Trevorrow's previously penned and directed film Book Of Henry (I thought it was just okay), I couldn't shake the feeling that those two overlapping plots of a super genius boy trying to help his immature mother grow up and his classmate being sexually abused by her stepfather felt like they would've served better as their own separate movies.  Granted, I've only seen a grand total of maybe five minutes of footage from this film but I'm putting up those barriers just in case.  Maybe Fallen Kingdom will fare better or maybe Fallen Kingdom will dethrone Jurassic Park III as the worst of the series.  It's all "maybe" at this point and it will continue to be until Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom hits theatres June 22.  I will not be watching anymore trailers, TV spots or clips after this.

     Let me know down below what you thought of this trailer.  In the mean time, I'll be working on additions to my Etsy store while keeping this movie on my mind, repeating, "Please don't suck, please don't suck, please don't suck, please don't suck."  As always folks, thank you so much for reading and if you like what you see on this blog, you be sure to nudge that "Follow" button and stay cynical!

     -The Cynic

5 Worst Things To Come Out Of The Jurassic Park License

     "Lookee, lookee, The Cynic is making another post about Jurassic Park.  What a shocker," said no one ever.  Look, if you folks know me personally or follow me on social media, you already know how much of a Jurassic Park fan I am.  If you're new here, hi, I'm The Cynic and I've been into Jurassic Park at nearly dangerously obsessive levels since I was six years old.  Now that we're caught up, let us proceed.

     When you have an intellectual property expand from a single idea, whether it be a book, film, etc., sometimes things get a little muddled and a subpar product comes out of it to remind you that nothing is truly perfect.  The Jurassic Park license is no different and with the fifth film going into production within the next couple of months, I thought it would be fun to share what I think are the five worst things to come out of the Jurassic Park license.  This is in no particular order and I am looking at more specific things, not just the movies in general.  If one of these things listed are one of your favorites, I’m happy for you that you like it but it doesn’t do it for me.

     Worst Dinosaur Public Image: Dilophosaurus

     I admit that Jurassic's depiction of dinosaurs, while mostly respectful, is not accurate.  It wasn't fully accurate in either the original book or film upon their respective releases and it’s not fully accurate now considering how much paleontological theories have changed in the twenty-seven and twenty-four years since said releases, respectively.  I can deal with that because one of the many things that make dinosaurs so fascinating is their mythological allure and despite new discoveries ever year, it still feels like we know so little about them and when adapting them into fiction, creative liberties have to be taken.  What bothers me is when one of the creative liberties created specifically for Jurassic Park keeps popping up elsewhere and that brings us to the Dilophosaurus.  I feel bad for this dinosaur: it’s only in one film in the flesh despite toys being made for it with every movie, it’s depicted at a reduced size so as not to be confused with the Velociraptors and its most memorable creative liberty feature keeps being outright ripped off.  I get that whenever the general public hears the word “dinosaur,” odds are their minds bring up this movie, considering how it set the bar in believability both within the story and special effects wise but I’m tired of seeing Dilophosaurus’ with neck frills and venom spit coming up outside of Jurassic Park.  This depiction has been “borrowed” in games like Jurassic: The Hunted, Ice Age 3 and ParaWorld as well as by various toy manufacturers including Animal Planet.  The latter really puzzles me because I always thought Animal Planet was about education but perhaps I missed something.  Basically, if you don’t have the Jurassic brand on your Dilophosaurus, lose the neck frill and venom spit, please.

     Worst Toy: Jurassic World Dino Hybrids Rampage Indominus Rex

      I thought long and hard about this one because of all the things from the Jurassic license I enjoy collecting, an argument could be made for the toys being my favorite.  I combed through the entire toy catalogue and had a few to pick out for worst toy.  Over-the-top hybrid dinosaur toys were introduced into the license in 1998 with Jurassic Park: Chaos Effect, a line I enjoyed upon release but as time went on, I realized it wasn’t for me.  I didn’t mind Hasbro’s line of toys to promote Jurassic World and have all but five of them (the Pteranodon vs Helicopter and Tyrannosaurus Lockdown sets were too ugly for me and I couldn't get over the Titan Raptors not having sickle claws) but when they announced a line of toys dedicated entirely to hybrid dinosaurs, I said, “Pass.”  While I suppose I probably could’ve gone with any of the Jurassic World Dino Hybrids toys, which are basically Chaos Effect 2, I’ve gone with this reworked Indominus Rex figure.  First off, the balancing issues from the original Indominus Rex figure weren’t fixed so it won’t stand on its own, the coloration is atrocious with said coloring stopping right at the attachable tail, not to mention the gold accents looking like skid marks rather than a smooth color blend and the action chomping feature seems to only work when it feels like it.  The worst part is that the prototype shown at the New York Toy Fair, while still ugly, looked more detailed, better colored, stood on its own and the gimmick, oh, I don’t know, actually fucking worked.  I know that these toys are meant to look like the hybrids in the JW mobile game but over-the-top hybrids didn’t work for me when Kenner was making them so they don’t work now with Hasbro.  I hate to use one of the more recent additions to the toy line but you have to call them like you see them.

     Worst Video Game: The Lost World: Jurassic Park – Trespasser

     Most video games based on movies are terrible, that’s just a fact.  The Jurassic franchise is no exception but of all of the games with that skeletal T. Rex branded on it (I don't think I ever played any of the games based on JP3), none of them felt as terrible as Trespasser.  This was a PC game released in 1998 that was supposed to revolutionize the FPS genre with its 3D graphics and physics engine and all it wound up doing was pissing off a lot of players, myself included.  Set one year after The Lost World, you play the character of Anne, a plane crash survivor who has washed up onto Isla Sorna and you have to get off the island alive.  Well, the kicker here is that you only have one arm to use (the other was injured) and have to use it to interact with objects to progress the game and/or survive.  An interesting idea, if the game mechanics weren’t so clunky.  I remember being killed a few times by oddly animated Velociraptors because the arm wouldn’t pick up a gun despite me gliding over it quite a few times and stacking boxes to get out of a jam only goes so far when a slight breeze will knock over your stack.  As far as graphics go, yeah they don’t look great now but I remember not being terribly wowed by them back in 1998 either.  I mean, this came out the same year as Resident Evil 2 and a year after the Playstation game for The Lost World, for crying out loud.  Sweet box art, though.

            Worst Novel: Jurassic Park Adventures – Flyers

            This was the final entry in a trilogy of spin-off books expanding on Jurassic Park III.  The first, Survivor, told of Eric Kirby’s eight weeks alone on Isla Sorna while its follow-up, Prey, had Eric and Alan Grant teaming up to save a group of teens sneaking onto the island to gain fame and fortune by filming the dinosaurs after the events of Jurassic Park III.  Flyers took the story to the mainland where Grant, Eric and Amanda Kirby have gone to Universal Studios in Orlando to discuss their time of the islands when the Pteranodon family that escaped at the end of the film descend on the resort.  I’ve never really liked when Jurassic Park goes off island because you lose that sense of isolation and helplessness when you have dinosaurs (or in this case, flying reptiles) in a heavily populated area and to have a whole book about it?  Yeah, I’m not with it and bringing back Amanda, arguably the most annoying character in the history of Jurassic Park, certainly doesn’t help it.  It wasn't terrible, exactly but of all of the novels I read, this one had to be the worst.

            Worst Comic Book: Jurassic Park – Redemption

            Okay, when I said that this was is in no particular order, I kind of lied because I had to save this one for last.  If I had to pick the absolute worst thing to come out of the Jurassic license, it would be this comic book story arc.  Why?  Because it is the worst.  As hinted at by this blog post, the expanded universe for Jurassic is…not very good.  It is full of shaky storytelling, lacking any of the awe-inspiring moments that the films had and all exist as proof that this was never meant to be a franchise.  The comics put out by Topps in the 90s weren’t really anything spectacular but they look like The Dark Phoenix Saga compared to the three arcs IDW Publishing put out.  While The Devils In The Desert was a mixed bag and Dangerous Games was more boring than offensively bad, Redemption was IDW’s maiden voyage into the series and wow, did it suck.  The story follows Tim Murphy trying to realize John Hammond’s dream of a functioning park, only having it in Glen Rose, TX instead of an island resort.  Lex is opposed to this but Tim goes forward with the help of a mysterious benefactor and of course, shit goes wrong when a Carnotaurus escapes and eventually all the dinosaurs escape.  The artwork is absolutely terrible, failing at Jurassic’s idea of trying to make the dinosaurs (and humans) look as believable as possible.  The writing is just awful, showing that this comic was more focused on dinosaur violence and shoehorning in characters for fan service and less on interesting story...or having a solid ending.  Seriously, the conflict doesn’t have a resolution but rather it just stops.  On top of that, this comic fails with its big twist when Peter Ludlow from The Lost World is revealed as the benefactor who is trying to sabotage Tim’s idea for revenge against John Hammond, stating that he only married into the family to partake in John’s wealth.  This may have been writer Bob Shreck’s first gig as a writer, but had he actually done his fucking homework, he would’ve seen that Peter refers to John as his uncle (the board room scene, anyone?), not his wife’s uncle (or his wife's father as he says here).  This would make Peter the son of one of John’s siblings and since Tim is John’s grandson, Peter would be his first cousin once removed, not his uncle.  Even putting the family tree blunder nitpick aside, there is no fucking way that Peter survived the ending of The Lost World.  I don’t care how well you pay your security staff, if they didn’t shoot Ian and Sarah when they took the baby Rex, they sure as Hell aren’t going to come into a sealed cargo hold with that baby and a tranquilized adult to save your ass, "Elite crew" or not.  Thankfully, it seems like Redemption was never intended to be canon and has more or less been erased from the fan base’s collective memory so my apologies for bringing it up.

     I'm not saying that the intention of this post is to say that Jurassic Park 5 is going to suck so don't take it as such.  This was just a fun exercise for me to find the worst of the worst in a property that means so much to me.  Agree or disagree, feel free to sound off in the comments.  If you like what you see on this blog, give that "Follow" button a nudge and stay cynical!

     -The Cynic

Kurt Reason Jr & The Dinosaurium Kickstarter Campaign

Like dinosaurs? Or cartoons? Or both? Know anyone who does? Help support my friend David Cowles-Brooks' Kickstarter Project "Kurt Reason Jr & The Dinosaurium." It sounds like a really neat project, combining elements from "Back To The Future," "Prehistoric Park" and "Jurassic Park," David is asking for your help to make his dream project a reality.  Click the link and give a pledge.

Oh, as further incentive, there's an option to submit character designs for a dinosaur to be featured on the show as well as the new female main character. On top of that, David also helped animate Baby Groot in Guardians Of The Galaxy. CLICK NOW.

Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/919622223/kurt-reason-jr-and-the-dinosaurium

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kurtReasonJr

6 Reasons Why I'm NOT Excited For Jurassic Park 4 (Yet)

Meh.

Okay, I know there's at least a couple of you out there wondering how I felt about this news (no, the poster above is not official. It's fan-made) and I think I've kept quiet about it long enough. In case you haven't heard, Universal Studios announced on January 11th that Jurassic Park 4 was on the way with a release date of June 13, 2014. While many of my fellow JP fan friends immediately became excited with the news, I just shrugged and said, "Whatever." It's not that I wasn't happy for my fellow fans (in fact, I found their excitement quite heartwarming), it's just that the news has come just a few years too late for me and I just don't really care anymore. "How so," you say? I'll elaborate.

#1 - I'm Still Not Convinced It's Actually Happening
Is Twitter a reliable news source?  Maybe, maybe not.  Every movie news site on the internet seems to think so when it comes to the announcement of JP4 (and a few others), but we've been hearing news of JP4's supposed release since Jurassic Park III's theatrical run in 2001.  It was a fun game for the first few years, but after a while, it got tiresome and after the deaths of original author Michael Crichton and animatronic supervisor Stan Winston in 2008, even producers Frank Marshall and Kathleen Kennedy said maybe they should just leave the series alone.  At this point, I had made peace with the fact that JP3 was the last film we'd get and if Jurassic Park ever graced the big screen again, it'd either be a rerelease or a remake.  Five years later, sorry, I'm not buying this.  After all the "he-said-she-said" running around from various members of cast and crew alumni as well as going through more writers than a television series, I'm not going to be won over by a single post from a social media site that I was never fond of to begin with (not that being posted on any other social media site would've really helped at this point).

Or, as I read it: "WOLF!  WOLF!  WWOOOLLLLLF!"

#2 - I'm Not Familiar With The Current Writers' Work

Back in June, it was reported that two new writers were confirmed.  Husband and wife team Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver were taking over for Mark Protosevich, who had taken over for John Sayles in 2011, who had taken over for William Monahan in 2004 when Monahan's script involved getting out of the jungle.  Now, Rick & Amanda are most well-known for the surprisingly successful Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, which I have not seen yet.  Supposedly it kicks ass, but I just haven't squeezed it into my schedule yet.  It's unclear whether or not they're tweaking Protosevich's script or doing something completely original, but Protosevich (who wrote the script for Thor) had been working with Spielberg closely to ensure that JP4 had a stronger story than JP3.  Sayles & Monahan, however, haven't written a script for a film I've seen yet, but that'll change when Monahan's Sin City: A Dame To Kill For comes out this year.  I want to be excited about the fact that the writers of a successful franchise reboot are possibly tweaking a story from the guy who wrote a kick ass story for Thor, but a) it's not known if they are actually tweaking it and b) I need to see Rise for myself before I can allow myself to get antsy over this news.

Stop staring, Ceasar!  I'll get to you eventually, dammit!

#3 -  The Last Movie Was Terrible

I've already expressed my distaste for the third film, so I'll keep this one short.  When JP3 was announced on Access Hollywood and Entertainment Tonight in summer of 2000, I immediately became excited and eagerly anticipated the film's arrival.  Back in 2001, my fifteen year old self loved it.  However, as I've grown older, my fandom for it has faded completely and I consider it the final nail in Jurassic Park's cinematic coffin, for lack of better term.  Can a new film fix it?  Maybe, maybe not.  The series has yet to put out a film that could out-do its predecessor (in my opinion), so I'm approaching this as a "fool me once, shame on you but fool me twice, shame on me" type scenario.  Maybe that's too harsh, but I'd rather not be scorned again.

Lame.

 

It's not just the films but the franchise in general that has me stepping back instead of leaping in at the Jan. 11th announcement...

#4 - Recent Expanded Universe Media Has Been Sub-par (At Best)

 I'm not going to say that the old JP comics from the 90s were perfect because they weren't, but those came out pre-IDW Publishing.  When IDW announced in 2010 that they had acquired the rights to JP, I was like, "Sweet!  New JP comics!"  Then Redemption came out, and if you've seen my YouTube channel, then you know that Redemption raped my childhood.  The next story arc, The Devils In The Desert, was better, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't truly great as a whole.  The third story arc, Dangerous Games, was so lame and boring that I didn't even BOTHER to review the entire series.  After two issues of the same mediocrity and poor artwork, I gave up on the IDW series and apparently so did they because a new IDW arc hasn't surfaced since Dangerous Games,

JP: Dangerous Games, aka Jurassic Ball Z

Okay, so the comics were a bust.  How about video games instead?  Sure, the original ones weren't perfect either, but there were still some good ones in there.  In June 2010, TellTale Games announced that an episodic game based on JP was in the works, similar to their Back To The Future game.  This idea sounded intriguing as the game would put players back on Isla Nublar during the events of the first film and would show what became of the embryos Nedry had attempted to steal.  While Jurassic Park: The Game had a really good story, the graphics were fifty-fifty and the gameplay was almost non-existent.  The game received mixed reviews but it didn't really wow anyone.  I was going to do a video review of the game, but time constraints prevented me from doing so but I did mention in the script that unless something actually worth talking about came along, I was DONE talking about Jurassic Park.  Period.

No, I haven't tried the JP Builder game for iOS devices.  The only Apple products I own are in my fridge.

#5 - Jurassic Park 4 Could Be The Start Of A New Trilogy

Does JP have enough ammunition in its guns for not just one, but three more films?  One I could see, but three?  Preposterous.  Seriously, how many more ways can you maroon a group of people on an island full of dinosaurs without it getting old?  Granted, I had mentioned earlier that William Monahan's draft involved not being in the jungle, but then again, it also involved human/frog/dog/Deinonychus hybrids bred in the Swiss Alps that ended with a blatant setup for JP5.  Do keep in mind that co-writer John Sayles also wrote the original Piranha movie, so don't be surprised that it's as daft as it is.  This script would completely piss on what made JP what it was worse than the third film did, but while Frank Marshall swears up and down that this plot idea was nothing more than a rumor, it should also be known that as far back as 2009, JP3 director Joe Johnston stated that the story for JP4 would be different than what we'd seen so far and it would mark a new trilogy.  So what is it, then?  Again, the "he-said-she-said" nonsense I had mentioned earlier.  I seriously don't think that the series has enough in it for another three movies, especially if they did decide to go in the bat-shit insane direction pitched in the original script ("Hey, let's make a Jurassic Park movie that doesn't feel like Jurassic Park!"), considering that Jurassic Park was meant to be a one-shot deal.  Instead of three new entries distancing the series from the source material even moreso, we need ONE film that would not only utilize all the materials and heart that made the first so great, but would also be a solid conclusion to the series.  I've seen the best part of my childhood dissolve into mediocrity (if not downright crap) over the last two decades, so I can comfortably say that JP needs to be put to rest and if this 4th film is actually in the works, then it may actually happen.

A piece of concept art from the insane JP4 script, which Industrial Light & Magic proved (thankfully) that it wasn't their work.

#6 - We Have Very Little To Go On Right Now

Okay, let's give the benefit of the doubt.  Let's say JP4 actually is happening...what do we know for certain?  Rick & Amanda are writing it, Spielberg will produce but not direct, Joe Johnston's not involved, it's being shot and released in 3D and it's slated for a June 2014 release.  That's it.  Who'll star?  Who'll direct?  Are we getting the animatronics back or is it going completely digital?  What's the story?  Is seventeen months enough time to churn out a big budget creature feature?  This is the biggest reason why I'm refraining from getting excited about this movie: there's too many unknowns at this point.  All we really have to get excited for is the idea of a new JP film, nothing more, nothing less.  As I stated before, if this news of "confirmation" had been released a few years ago, I'd be all over it like white on rice but it didn't.  Forgive me, but it's going to take more than a few words on Twitter (Tweet source be damned) for me to believe this is happening, much less get excited for it.  Of course, I'm not ignoring the fact that JP4 is slated for release a good seventeen months from now so it's not like Universal would give up any goods this early but the pot does need some sweetening before I get giddy about a new JP film.  Show me official concept art, cast and crew announcements, plot details (no saurian/canine crosses, please), things like that, then we'll talk.  Until such a day, I don't really care enough about Jurassic Park 4 to say anything much else than, "This is why I don't really care about Jurassic Park 4."

I'm really not trying to rain on anyone's parade with this post, but if any of you care enough to wonder why I've been quiet on the subject...

-The Cynic