Monday, November 26, 2012

Quick Blurb Review: Wreck-It Ralph

Okay, this was originally supposed to be a Vlog, but my son and better half are sleeping and I am currently without sufficient recording room, so here we are.  Over the weekend while Scholar was doing stuff with her bridal party in Brandon, I called up my brother and we took my son to the theatre for the first time.  I wanted something that he'd sit through but at the same time was something that my brother and I wouldn't mind or even looked forward to sitting through, so we decided to check out Wreck-It Ralph, the third and final film that was on my "Must See In Theatres" list.

Ralph (John C. Reilly) converses with Vanellope (Sarah Silverman).

The plot of Wreck-It Ralph is almost like Toy Story with video games: Ralph, the villain in the game "Fix-It Felix Jr.", has been doing the same thing for 30 years: wrecking the building while Felix (Jack McBrayer) repairs it before Ralph destroys it completely (like a cross between Donkey Kong & Rampage).  However, Ralph is considered by the tenants of the building to be "just the bad guy" and treat him like dirt at every opportunity, even snubbing him an invite to a party celebrating the game's 30th anniversary.  After attending a Bad Guy Group Therapy session with the likes of Kano (Mortal Kombat), Zangief & M. Bison (Street Fighter), Dr. Eggman (Sonic The Hedgehog) and other recognizable video game villains, Ralph decides that he doesn't want to be the bad guy anymore and sets out to find the game where he can be a hero.  However, by doing so, he puts not only his game but potentially every other game in the arcade at risk.

If Sgt. Marcus Fenix (Gears Of War) and female Commander Sheppard (Mass Effect) had a kid together, it'd be Sgt. Tamora Jean Calhoun (Jane Lynch).

Hm, how can I put this delicately...I loved this movie!  I tried not to let myself get too excited about Wreck-It Ralph because it is a Disney movie and sometimes their formula can become stale and tiresome.  Not that I don't like Disney movies, it's just some work better than others.  Ralph is one that works, both as a fan of Disney films and as someone who grew up with video games.  As a movie, the film looks great both with the animation and the worlds within it.  When you step into Game Central Station for the first time (which to us is just the power bar connecting all the arcade machines together), you get taken aback and you say to yourself, "Wow."  The detail in the game Sugar Rush was very well done with the world (and most of its inhabitants) being made of candy while Hero's Duty looked like what I imagine a cross of Halo and Starcraft would be.  These are the only two other games created for the movie that Ralph ventures into outside of his own (Sugar Rush being the primary location), which is kind of unfortunate because it would've been cool to see Ralph jump into additional well-known games other than the Group Therapy session in Pac-Man and Root Beer Tapper, but when the events unfold within the games, you have so much fun with it that it doesn't matter.

I'd be lying if I didn't say half the fun of this movie was looking for the iconic characters placed within the crowd.

As a retro gamer, the movie is full of nods to classic titles, which made a good chunk of the film a huge nostalgia trip for my brother and I (Konami code FTW!) which was worth admission alone.  Thankfully, Wreck-It Ralph was more than that as it had a lot of heart to it.  There's some scenes in Sugar Rush that really tugs at you involving Ralph and Vanellope that really make you feel for the characters, which is good otherwise this movie would've been an hour and forty minutes of gaming references.  Without going into too much detail, there's one part that'll widen your eyes a bit when Ralph plays a move (forgive the pun) that he knows that he's not going to walk away from and you'll be thinking to yourself, "Wow...Ralph's gonna die."  Granted, this scene isn't as intense as the incinerator scene from Toy Story 3, but when it still makes you have that sort of reaction, then you know you've got a good one on your hands.

I wonder if someone will actually make this game and put it on xBox Live (if it hasn't been done already).  I'd buy it in a heartbeat.

Alright, I think I've said all I wanted to say about this movie.  I didn't really talk about the cast because I don't have a whole lot of experience with the four main actors outside of this movie (I think the last John C. Reilly movie I watched was Gangs Of New York), so now whenever I see anything with them in it, I'm going to know them as these characters.  So, in closing, as a Disney and retro game fan, I had an absolute blast with Wreck-It Ralph and I highly recommend it to everyone.  I tried my best to avoid spoilers in this review because I really do want you to see it for yourself.  If you haven't yet, go check it out.

-The Cynic

P.S. This movie has a somewhat sappy but very heartwarming ending that makes a sequel seem almost...unnecessary.  Would I say no to a sequel, though?  Not likely.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

My Heartfelt Plea Regarding World War Z

Just something I wanted to share with you guys, from the bottom of my heart.  This is a video depicting my thoughts on the upcoming World War Z movie.

Quick Blurb Review: Prometheus

Um, I'm restarting this review because there's no way I can talk about Prometheus and do it justice without giving stuff away, so...SPOILERS!

As I'm writing this review, I'm supposed to be getting ready to go for my second coffee break at work.  Alas, Mother Nature had other plans involving anywhere from 30-50 cm of snow over the course of today.  My in-laws were snowed in, so I didn't have anyone to take care of my boy while we're at work and the highways are just garbage, so I stayed home.  Let's make the most of this, so let's discuss Prometheus.

Pictured above: The view from my living room window.

Prometheus follows the story of an archeologist couple in 2089 as they discover ancient artwork all over the world showing humans worshiping larger humanoids pointing to a particular star formation.  The woman archeologist believes that these larger humanoids, dubbed "Engineers," may have created humanity, so a crew is assembled on the ship Prometheus as they map out the star formation and discover their destination is the formation's moon, LV-223.  As they land and explore a nearby cavern, they find clues that something disastrous happened there and that the answers they seek may carry a heavier price than they are willing to pay.

The fantastic Michael Fassbender as the android David.

Okay, I just wanna make one thing clear before I proceed: I liked Prometheus.  Didn't love it, but I liked it.  The performance by Fassbender is probably the best part of the film and I did enjoy some of the creature effects and "scary" moments of the film, but there were a lot of parts to the film that felt bizarre to me.  Not bizarre in that I didn't understand what was happening, but bizarre in the sense that it felt like two movies that many say shouldn't be in the same room as each other.  Prometheus had the overall look and feel of Ridley Scott's original Alien film (which this movie is a distant prequel to) with the dimly lit corridors, the space suits, the stasis pods, etc but it had the updated special effects, archaeological angle and red-shirts that Paul W.S. Anderson's Alien vs Predator film had.  This is one of the most unusual mixes of film elements I had seen in a while and it was actually a little distracting to me for a minute.  I would go into talking about the cast & performances that I usually do, but the only one that really wowed me here was Fassbender.  It's amazing how well he can squeeze into roles and even if he turns out to be Peter Weyland's (Guy Pearce) monotone, back-stabbing saboteur of a puppet, we still love him.  The rest of the cast were not terribly memorable to me, whether it's just in comparison to Fassbender or in general is up to debate, and I felt that their characters were not fully developed enough for me to feel for them when they started getting killed.  It was just like they were there to give exposition, sleep with each other and throw themselves into the body count without our concern...not exactly the best thing to do if you're trying to do a character driven story.

Here's the short version of Charlize Theron & Idris Elba's coversation prior to their hookup:
Elba: Hey, are you a robot?
Theron: OH DO ME!!!!
Congrats on that working, though.

Okay, now here's where we get to the spoilers of the film.  I mentioned that this film is a prequel set in the Alien universe.  It turns out that the Engineers DID create humanity and they've also created this primordial ooze that they intended as biological weapons of mass destruction to use on us, as the ooze can mutate humans if they ingest it into zombie-esque creatures (why zombies and not the original design?) and the usual creatures the ooze creates bleed acid and breed by implanting embryos into other hosts (hint hint).  The Engineers also turn out to be the Space Jockeys, as the caverns the humans are exploring turns out to be one of the Jockeys' ships and you see one of them in the full helmet sitting in the gun, just like the one found in Alien.

Oh, and this guy shows up at the end, too.

For anyone wondering, Prometheus doesn't take place on the same planet as Alien and Idris Elba's character figures that LV-223 was a military or research outpost where the Jockeys experimented with this ooze and got the better of them.  So this coupled with the fact that there are two survivors at the end of this film leaves it open for a sequel that will hopefully answer some questions left by the film and, according to Ridley Scott, will bridge Prometheus closer to Alien.  Honestly, I think that's where half the fun of Prometheus lies: discussing the questions the film leaves.

Such as, "U mad, bro?"

I could go on about said questions, but I think I've chipped at this review long enough.  I don't think you necessarily need to see Alien before watching this one, although it doesn't hurt.  Ordinarily a film that leaves more questions than answers would be frustrating, but I'm making an exception here.  If you're looking for a movie to sit down and discuss with your sci-fi geek friends, Prometheus is for you.  If you're looking for sci-fi horror on the same level as Alien, you won't find it here, but should be able to still salvage some enjoyment from the movie.

-The Cynic

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Quick Blurb Review: Men In Black III

Okay, giving Movie Maker a break so I can write this one.  Men In Black is one of those movies that just takes me back and it seemed to have just the right balance of everything.  The humor was great, the performances were spot on, the effects were impressive and it didn't overstay its welcome (by the time the final climax rolls around, it only feels like you're 45 minutes in).  All in all, Men In Black kicked ass and had it not come out the same year as The Lost World: Jurassic Park, it probably would've been my favorite movie of 1997.  Five years later and we get the sequel, Men In Black II, which was a total mess.  The effects were sub-par, the humor was obnoxious if not non-existant and when Rosario freakin' Dawson can't save your movie in my eyes, you know you're doing something wrong!  Suffice to say, when Men In Black III was announced, I was fairly indifferent about it.  Sure, I'd watch it, but after Men In Black II, there was NO WAY I was seeing this one in theatres.  No siree.

Josh Brolin as Young Agent K.  One of the more entertaining bits about the movie.

Well, a friend of ours loaned us an advance copy of this movie so we could watch it in the comfort of our own home without paying for it.  So how was it?  Well, I want to get the most blatant thing out of the way: Men In Black III was better than Men In Black II.  I understand that achieving that particular feat may not be that hard but at least I can rest easy knowing that I've told you people that.  The story of Men In Black III follows the miraculously aging-resistant Agents K (Tommy Lee Jones) and J (Will Smith) as they find out that an alien super criminal named Boris The Animal (Tim Cur-uh, I mean Jermaine Clement...yeah, the guy with glasses from Flight Of The Concords) has escaped from the lunar prison designed specifically for him.  K admits that he should've killed Boris when he had the chance.  When J tries to question further into the story, K suspends him to...I dunno.  When J goes to talk to him the next day, he finds that K's apartment is occupied by a single mother of three.  Also, J has an oddly spontaneous craving for chocolate milk.  When J begins asking around, he's told that K has been dead for 40 years and that Earth will soon be under invasion by Boris' race, whom J read the night before that they were extinct.  J tracks down a tech guy who sold Boris a time-traveling device the other night and is given the same thing, just as Boris' race arrives and begins laying waste to the major cities of the world (very Mass Effect 3-y).  J jumps back in time to the day before Agent K (now Josh Brolin) was killed.  Despite the fact that the tech guy said that J has to stay away from K, they end up working together to stop not one, but two Boris' from destroying the world.

"Hey, it's Tim Curry!  This movie was already worth-what?  What do you mean?  Get outta here, that's totally Tim Curry...isn't it?  It ISN'T?!"

Alright, so the plot sounds like the episode of the animated series "The Head Trip Syndrome," where J tinkers with alien technology and becomes immune to the changes of the space-time continuim around him.  That's okay, because the animated series was great and having a time travel theme is somewhat fan servicing of itself.  There's definitely good things about MIB3, no doubt.  Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith fit perfectly back into their roles that they haven't touched in 10 years and as I mentioned earlier, haven't aged a day since the last movie.  Jermaine Clement hides himself so well that I was 100% convinced that it was actually Tim Curry playing Boris.  I don't know if it was some kind of electronic effect or if he was able to do that himself with his voice, but rest assured if Tim Curry ever dies, Jermaine Clement can fill in for him because he sounded and acted just like him in this movie.  The same can be said for Josh Brolin as a younger Tommy Lee Jones, spot on impression and very entertaining all around.  Sadly, there's no Agent Z (Rip Torn) or Frank The Pug in this movie, although in MIB2, Frank kinda overstayed his welcome, much like The Worm Guys.

"Okay, there's been too many mentions of the previous film in this review, so if everyone can please focus your attention here..."

Oooo, shiny.  Anyway, MIB3 turned out to be that break in my string of films watched as of late where I watched a movie that I didn't REALLY like.  Don't get me wrong, MIB3 was enjoyable but overall it ranks as a mere "okay."  The first little bit of the film did feel too much's like its been wiped from my mind, but you guys probably know what I mean, although it wasn't nearly as obnoxious this time around.  When the film introduces this prophet-esque character Griffin that can see multiple universes at the same time, I had a hard time following his babbling, leading me to wonder what universe we were actually in.  The past bits were more entertaining than the present ones, but this movie still didn't capture the entertainment value of the first one and with the wideish time window between films, I can't help but wonder if this movie was made more as a cash grab and less of a "hey, you know what the public wants?  Another Men In Black movie."  I'm honestly glad I didn't see this one in the theatre because I'm not convinced it would've been worth the trip.  If you're feeling ambitious, check it out.  If not, stick with the first Men In Black film because you're not missing anything extravagant.

Oh, and THIS prick does the Men In Black III theme song instead of Will Smith.  Yeah, friggin' criminal.

One last thing I wanna point out is the involvement of 3D.  My feelings on 3D have been expressed time and time again and at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I've gotta mention it here.  Men In Black III was clearly filmed for 3D instead of being converted in post production and that really hurts the movie special effects wise when you watch it in 2D.  The worst ones are during the climax of the film during the shuttle launch and it's hard to immerse yourself in the movie when everything around the actors looks like a really bad green screen effect.  It boggles me that with the special effects technology available today that we can raise the Titanic (only to sink it again), have shapeshifting cybernetic lifeforms change their looks right before your eyes, bring the damn dinosaurs back to life and create worlds we never even knew existed (as a start), yet we can't polish shots of a movie from 3D to 2D to make them more convincing?  I sincerely hope that someone in the effects business is working on this because if most, possibly all, genre movies are going to be made with 3D in their future, then the conversion process REALLY needs work because not everyone is going to see a made-for-3D movie in that format.  Shouldn't a film look just as good at home as it did in the theatre?  If this issue isn't addressed, then I see a future where films with very bleak special effects crowd our DVD shelves because someone couldn't be bothered to make sure that a film looked impressive and fluent in all available formats instead of focusing on just the one.  That'd be a damn shame and you know it.

-The Cynic

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Top 15 Songs That Take Me Back (And Make Me Feel Old)

Look, I apologize for not filming tonight but sometimes things just don't go as planned. The Halloween special will be completed and ready for view by Wednesday, October 31st. I am not entirely without creativity right now though, and this particular post is an idea that I've had for some time.

For as long as I've been a fan of movies, I've also been a fan of music, perhaps even longer because you hear music before you see movies growing up...or at least, I did. Anyway, sometimes songs come along that really cements that particular time frame in your mind and then when you hear it again years later, you think to yourself, "Wow, this song takes me back..." and then you realize said song is being played on some retrospective music special and then you go, "Damn, this song makes me feel old..." Here are my personal Top 15 Songs That Take Me Back (And Make Me Feel Old). I'm going to leave out some of the more obvious ones that would (potentially) be on a lot of other lists and try to make this one unique.  Was gonna make this list 13 originally, but much like my Guitar Hero blog, more entries kept coming up as I was thinking of them, but I'm gonna cut it off at 15.

#15 - "Summertime In The Void" by I Mother Earth (1998)

Okay, I won't lie, I haven't heard this song in, like, 12 years.  Gimme 5:17.  *5:17 later* Okay, that's better.  Um, truth be told, this song ain't nearly as good as I remember it being back in 98.  Probably why it didn't pop into my head until I thought of this list and why it's on the bottom.  Next.

#14 - "Blown Wide Open" by Big Wreck (1998)

Yeah, the same guys who did "That Song."  Seriously, that's the name of the tune.  It also occurs to me that, for reasons unbeknownst to me, a lot of these songs are probably going to be from around 1998.  I'm not entirely sure why this is.  It's not like 1998 stood out to me as an absolutely stellar year or anything.  I mean, I was finishing Grade 6, I listened to a bit of everything & Roland Emmerich's Godzilla had come out.  Fuck-a-doodle doo, right?  Anyway, "Blown Wide Open" was one of the big songs from that year (as a Canadian radio listener, anyway) and it has a very small piece of nostalgia in my heart.  Has aged better than "Summertime In The Void", but it's not really my kind of rock anymore.  Still better than Ian Thornley's solo stuff.

#13 - "Why" by Wide Mouth Mason (1999)

So I can't find the official video, but oh well.  Wide Mouth Mason's "Why" was sort of a pump-up song for me back in 1999 (sad, right?) and looking back on this song 13 years later, I kinda like the slightly jazzy, Zoot Suit swinger feeling of the guitar riffs now.  Makes me wanna don a Fedora and striped suit to chat with The Rat Pack or something.  Again, not really my kind of rock anymore, but still catchy.  "Sugarcane" is the better song, but "Why" holds more nostalgia.

#12 - "Terrible" by Insane Clown Posse (1999)

Yeah, I used to listen to Insane Clown Posse, what of it?  I never considered myself a "juggalo" by any means, but y'know what?  As a socially frustrated teenager with some dangerously dark thoughts running through his head in 1999, ICP had their use and place and this one was my favorite.  Listening to this song again as a more analytical adult, I still dig the guitar riffs and the whole message that society and news groups do not have their priorities in order and focus on trivial things instead of the real issues ("bombs are blowing and the cops are corrupt, but all you care about is who the President fucked?!" as an example) really isn't that far off, even all the way back in 1999.  I haven't followed them in well over a decade, but I'm sure Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope are having a field day with the world of news media today.

#11 - "Brackish" by Kittie (1999)

1999 was the year of the infamous Woodstock 99, which got me thoroughly acquainted with the wonderful genre of music called "metal" (my 13th birthday was the same day as the Limp Bizkit/Rage Against The Machine/Metallica riots).  It was also around this time that girls became more...ahem, interesting, if you will, to me.  So when you have a ravenously horny, freshly crowned metal-head Canadian watching a music video of an all-female Canadian metal band...I don't know how to end this sentence appropriately, so I'm sure you can put two and two together here.  Besides, just so I don't end this entry sounding like a gross pig, I'd like to point out that this song is still Kittie's best (IMO, I haven't followed them for about 10 years) and holds up fairly well.  As an adult, I can respect a band who skipped their final exams of high school to tour Ozzfest 2000, featuring one of the best lineups in the festival's history.

#10 - "Independence Day" by Martina McBride (1992)

As I mentioned in my Top 7 Guilty Pleasures In Music entries, I used to be a country fan when I was younger.  However, the official video of this song has been blocked in my home country.  Fine, I can deal with that.  Upon hearing it again, is it bad that...I still kinda like this song?  When I was 6, I just loved Martina's voice and that more or less sold me on this song, not taking the lyrics into consideration (I was 6, who had time for that?).  Listening to the lyrics as an adult, I'm like, "Holy crap, my parents let me sing along to this?"  For those who don't know, the song is about the perspective of a little girl who's mother is tired of the father abusing the child, so to get even, she sends the kid off to the fair and burns the house down.  That', I didn't realize for all these years that this song was as dark as it was. Well played.

#9 - "Hello Time Bomb" by Matthew Good Band (1999)

Ah, the days where Matthew Good actually had some beat to his music, prior to the days where began singing about how he was the embodiment of panes of glass.  "Hello Time Bomb" takes me back to a specific place, a sock-hop at my school where my buddies and I tried to start a mosh pit to this song (again, sad, right?).  Suffice to say, the teachers separated us all and the song was changed.  Hm, and people wondered why I didn't like going to the dances.

#8 - "You Don't Know What It's Like" by Econoline Crush (2000)

I rediscovered this song the other day and immediately put it on my phone, which is also my car stereo.  Anyway, I can't decide if this song falls under the hard rock or metal category as it seems to have elements of both within, but when I think back to some of Econoline Crush's other stuff, it never quite screamed "metal" to me.  Maybe that's why this one was my favorite back in the day and why it popped back into my head when I was knocking this list around.  I'm glad that I still like it as much as I did 12 years ago and wish Econoline Crush the best.

#7 - "Got The Life" by Korn (1999)

I'd be lying if I said that I was won over by this song on the first listen.  In fact, I remember hating this song when I first heard it.  Yet, much like how Slipknot did three years later with their Disasterpieces DVD, "Got The Life" got the grow on me and I remember spending many nights hanging out at a friend's house listening to the Follow The Leader album, with "Got The Life" on loop a few times.  Listening to it again, it takes me back to those fairly care-free years of biking through the field that is now a Wal-Mart parking lot and talking about how awesome of a show Korn put on at Woodstock that year and arguing over whether or not the amount of tits that are flashed to you during your set determined how well you performed (hint: it doesn't).

#6 - "Above" by Finger Eleven (Released in 1997, didn't hear until 1999)

This was my first introduction to Finger Eleven and 13 years later, I'm still a fan.  I never bothered to buy the album Tip (that this song comes from), but once their follow up The Greyest Of Blue Skies hit shelves, I was on that like flies on shit.  A lot of bands tend to fade in and out of my view over time and I find myself rediscovering old acts quite often (especially as of late), but Finger Eleven has been one band that has always been there.  Say what you will about the direction the band has taken over the years (I could honestly go the rest of my life without ever hearing "Paralyzer" again), but I still like them and I have "Above" to thank for getting me into them to start.

#5 - "Powertrip" by Monster Magnet (1998)

I remember hearing this song for the first time and being told it was on the soundtrack for the movie Soldier.  I wanted to see that movie for the very reason until one of my friends saw it and told me that he didn't actually hear the song featured in the film.  Suffice to say, my interest in the movie Soldier dropped dramatically and I stuck with rocking out to the song.  From what I hear, I made the right call.

#4 - "Du Hast" by Rammstein (1997)
This is the song that put Rammstein in North America's notice.  "Du Hast" is Rammstein's "Stairway To Heaven," their "Enter Sandman," their "Pour Some Sugar On Me."  If you don't follow what I'm trying to say, this is their most popular song and chances are if someone says "Du Hast" is their favorite Rammstein song, it's probably the only one they've ever heard.  This doesn't make the song any less nostalgic or enjoyable, because this is the first Rammstein song I ever heard.  I kept an eye on these guys and they just seemed to get better and better with each album.  Oh, and these guys easily put on one of the best fucking live shows I've ever seen.  It should be on everyone's bucket list to see a Rammstein concert.

#3 - "Line Up" by Aerosmith (released in 1993, heard it in 1994)

Probably my second favorite Aerosmith song, taking second place to fellow "Get A Grip" track "Eat The Rich."  I present everyone reading this blog a challenge: listen to this song without thinking of the montage from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.  Go ahead, I'll give you a minute.  You can't, can you?  That's okay, neither can I.  Hell, I like this song because of that movie.  This is a great cruising song, too.

#2 - "The Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks (1990)

Fuck yeah!  I've never been able to find the official video for this until now!  I've mentioned this song before on the list of Songs That Should Be Covered By Hard Rock/Metal Acts on my What Gives entry.  If you're a long-time reader of my blog, you probably already know that this is one song that my opinion of has never changed in 22 years and that a metal band could do an amazing cover of it (come on, Machine Head.  Get on that!).  It turns out Jet Black Stare (famous for doing Film Brain's Bad Movie Beatdown Theme Song) did a cover, but it doesn't compare well to the original.  However, when researching the release date of this song, I found that Tanya Tucker had originally written the song but didn't want to release it initially.  Garth picked it up and got a hit single out of it.  Tanya eventually released her version in 1995, but it doesn't hold a candle to Garth's, for his captures the tone of the conflict far better than hers or Jet Black Stare's does.

#1 - "Stereo" by The Watchmen (1998)

I got the urge to YouTube this song the other day and as soon as vocalist Daniel Greaves began singing, I just felt drenched from head to toe in nostalgia.  This song holds a very special place because I believe it's one of the first that I actually went above and beyond to memorize the lyrics for and amazingly enough, 14 years later, I still remember most of them.  And y'know what?  This is still a pretty damn awesome song.  How fitting, a song from 1998 (what was it about that year?) by a band from the capitol city of my home province takes the #1 spot and makes me feel really reminiscent and old at the same time.  How poetic.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Old Man Cynic is far overdue for his nap.  Good night, everyone!

-The Cynic

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Quick Blurb Review: The Amazing Spider-Man

I'll admit, I liked the first two Sam Raimi Spider-Man films, and while I did have my share of problems with the third one, I wasn't entirely convinced that Spider-Man 3 was so bad that it warranted an entire reboot of the series.

With all due respect to Doc Brown.

So when The Amazing Spider-Man was announced, I kinda scratched and shook my head as it seemed like Spidey was just another superhero that had fallen victim to a lack of originality and that crazy reboot trend running rampant nowadays. The first few images of Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker and Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy didn't immediately make me wanna pre-order my tickets, nor did the first trailer. The second trailer, however, officially made me say, "Okay, I think I need to see this movie." Well, I finally got around to watching it today and let's talk about it.

This is like a "Chicken Or The Egg" scenario: did Andrew & Emma start dating because they played so well off of each other, or did they play so well off of each other because they started dating?

So the story starts with Richard and Mary Parker (Campbell Scott & Embeth Davidtz) leaving their apartment after Richard's office has been broken into. They take young Peter (Max Charles) to Uncle Ben & Aunt May (Martin Sheen & Sally Field) and ask them to look after him while they "take care of something." Peter's parents are then killed in a plane crash and he is adopted by Ben & May. Fast forward to his high school years, where Peter (Garfield) finds his father's tote bag with a science folder regarding cross species gene splicing, a project Richard was working on with Dr. Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans). Peter sneaks into a tour of Oscorp to ask Dr. Connors about his father to see that his crush, Gwen Stacy (Stone), is Connors' head intern. Peter sneaks about and finds a room full of a species of spiders that his dad engineered. One of them bites him and grants him strange abilities. As he adjusts to himself, he screws up with his family, Uncle Ben gets killed and Peter then dons the costume and identity of Spider-Man. Oh, and Dr. Connors gets pushed to the edge by company suits and mutates into The Lizard.

Spoilers: This scene was NOT in the film. The subplot with this Oscorp Executive went nowhere.

I suppose comparisons of this film to the Raimi films are inevitable, but I'll try to keep them to a minimum because, well, The Amazing Spider-Man makes the Raimi films look like the Joel Schumacher Batman films (3 being the Batman & Robin of the series) and made me realize, "Yeah, we really DID need a reboot of the series after Spider-Man 3." Basically, anything the Raimi films did, Amazing did better (okay, except Willem Dafoe as Norman Osborne/Green Goblin. That's still fucking awesome). Andrew Garfield outdid Tobey MacGuire as the titular character (mostly due to the fact that Andrew can actually, well, act), Emma Stone does better as Gwen Stacy than Kirsten Dunst did as Mary Jane in all fronts (not only is Emma prettier, she is a much better performer and actually looks the bloody part), Peter realizing how his powers work gets to him instead of him just going with it, Sheen & Field were amazing as Ben & May, the musical score by James Horner really amps up the ante in each scene its in, Denis frickin' Leary, one of the best Stan Lee cameos EVER, I could go on with this, but I don't want to stall out this review.

I wasn't crazy about The Lizard's design at first, but it kinda grew on me.

Naturally, this movie isn't perfect (again, what film is?). Like I mentioned earlier, there's a subplot involving Curt Connors and an Oscorp executive that I felt didn't really go anywhere (although that screenshot above hints that there's a deleted scene that could wrap that up), the movie's runtime of 2 hours and 10 minutes feels a tad too long and closer to the end I found myself glancing at the clock a few times and the post credits scene didn't really amp me up for a sequel the way that the post credits scenes in Marvel's Phase One lineup did (for those who don't know: Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Avengers). In fact, the post credits scene felt rather...blah. Maybe it involves a character from the Spider-Man universe that I'm not familiar with or something, but it just felt amiss. I'm sure there's a couple others, but those are the ones that really stood out to me.

I'd hate to be the poor bastard in the stall next to him.

Do those negative bits break this film? Considering how many positive things I've said, I'm pretty sure you can tell whether or not I'd recommend this movie or how highly, for that matter. I think the bigger question to me is how does this film compare to Marvel's other blockbuster of 2012, The Avengers. I say this because when The Amazing Spider-Man came out, my brother saw it and said it was on par with The Avengers, which is a pretty fuckin' bold statement, if I may say so myself (Avengers was phenomenal, 'nuff said). Personally, I think that these two films are on two different levels. Amazing Spider-Man was the new beginning that the character really needed (though some of us took a while to realize that), whereas Avengers was built up to over the course of five movies so, to me, Amazing Spider-Man was more of a "Okay, let's give the characters the respect that they deserve because of the last movie" and less of a "Oh God, we've been waiting for this for four years! PLEASE, GOD, PLEEEEEASE, have it NOT suck!" Thankfully, both movies have far more pros than they do cons and I say that if you haven't seen either of them yet, get on that. Pronto.

-The Cynic

P.S. Unlike the last movie I reviewed, I enjoyed this one enough that I'd be disappointed if they didn't make a sequel.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Quick Blurb Review: Ted

Okay, brushing off some rust on this one, but here we go. Seth MacFarlane & I go way back. Not in the sense that I've known the guy since I was a pre-schooler and I'm jealous that he hasn't used his fame and success to bail me out of my financial woes, but I remember being glued to the TV when Family Guy first aired back in 1999. At the time, it was the best fucking show ever and I couldn't get enough of it. Then, after three seasons and multiple time slot changes, Family Guy got the axe. Sure, the DVDs came out later, but it wasn't enough. Then when Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story hit DVD, there was enough of an interest remaining in the series that Fox actually brought it back from cancellation. The first few returning seasons were really good and it still felt like Family Guy. However, the jokes became less "ha ha" funny and more "what demographic can we piss off this week" funny, and I do use the term "funny" very loosely. Seth launched a couple of other shows that went down a similar path, American Dad (started off good, turned sour pretty quick) and the Sunday night abomination that is The Cleavland Show, which I'd rather not discuss. Suffice to say, I haven't given Seth's TV project much of a chance, but when I saw the trailers for Ted, I said, "Okay, this could go either way."

Seth MacFarlane voices the titular character of Ted, using the Peter Griffin voice from Family Guy.

Okay, the plot is as followed. When social outcast John Bennett gets a teddy bear for Christmas, he makes a wish that his bear could really talk other than the pre-recorded "I Love You" it says. Being a child's wish of Christmas, it comes true, because as narrator Patrick Stewart (yes, that Patrick Stewart) explains, "There is no greater power than a child's Christmas wish...except for an Apache helicopter. That has both missiles and machine guns and is a well oiled instrument of death." So Ted comes to life and becomes a national sensation for awhile then fades into obscurity, because again, as Patrick Stewart says, "Whether you're Madonna, Prince, or Justin Beiber, after awhile, nobody simply gives a shit." Suffice to say, Patrick Stewart's narration is one of the best parts of this movie and when John grows up (Mark Wahlberg), so does his teddy bear. John and Ted live together with John's girlfriend Lori Collins (Mila Kunis), but after four years together, Lori wants to take their relationship to the next step but feels that Ted's presence is preventing this from happening.

The infamous "Thunder Buddies" song.

There weren't a lot of things about this movie that I didn't like, to tell the truth. Some parts of the movie do feel like an extended episode of Family Guy with some cut away gags and musical placements, and when Ted busted out the Stewie voice while making fun of the fish at the aquarium, I was afraid that Seth was going to keep visiting the FG well to the point that it would become tiresome. Thankfully, all we get is a couple of false alarms and I felt for the most part that Ted was it's own project, not just something Seth did to cash in on the success of his various television projects. A few plot points become predictable involving John & Lori's relationship with Ted pulling a couple ballsy moves for their sake, but what movie doesn't predictable elements? There are, however, a few moments in the film that do take it to a dark and damn creepy place involving a couple fans of Ted's (Giovanni Ribisi and Aedin Mincks) that I cannot thank the trailers enough for NOT showing. For the first little bit of the movie, I was afraid that since I'd seen both the green and red-band trailers that there'd be nothing left to see for the rest of the movie (*cough*Zombieland*cough), but I was proven wrong.

Mark Wahlberg deserves some sort of recognition for being able to do the "speed round" bit as well as he did.

So, the final verdict? I was a little gun-shy going into Ted but kept an open mind about it. Seth MacFarlane, for the most part, relied on the old Family Guy style humor as opposed to the new Family Guy style humor and I think it paid off. Ted was funny, raunchy, and in some parts, heartfelt and creepy with great performances all around. Is it going to win any awards? Eh, probably not, but I'm not some pretentious git that relies on awards to warrant recommend a film to someone. Ted wasn't the slanderous, step-on-the-toes-of-any-demographic-for-the-sake-of-doing-so film that I was afraid it could've been and I enjoyed it. However, Universal wants to get a sequel to this film going, which I'm not so sure if they should. Sure, Ted was good and I enjoyed it, but I'm not sure if it's enjoyable to the point where they can't leave well enough alone.

-The Cynic

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

So What Gives?

I wish that this was a new feature that I'd be introducing where I'd be looking at something really confusing or that a lot of people hate but I love and say, "What gives?" But no. That's not why we're here. Warning: anyone who seems weary of long blogs might as well close this tab now because this one's gonna be lengthy.

If you are reading this, chances are you are somewhat a fan of my work or actually give a damn what I think. I thank you sincerely and you've probably been wondering why it's been a month and a half since a new blog or why it's been a month since any original content has made its way onto the YouTube channel and have been thinking, "So what gives?"

The fact of the matter is that, once again, life has intervened and has dealt me a hand that significantly cuts into my hobby time, which is what Coffee With The Cynic is and has been for the last two years. Rather than bore you with all the details and have anyone misinterpret it as one giant sob story, I'll keep it straight to the point: Due to our current work setup (and a couple of illnesses), I have had little to no time to actually try and get any filming or editing done. In fact, it has gotten to a point where at this rate, I would have to take time off of work just to catch up, which is out of the question. Which leads me to the following statement:

Due to these circumstances, I hereby announce that until I can find a better schedule/job, Coffee With The Cynic is, for all intents and purposes, finished.

Is that to say that I'll never do another review again? Well, never say never, or so the old saying goes. I honestly am in a position where I feel that it's best for me to step away from the internet reviewer thing and leave it for the professionals until I can work it back into my schedule.

I had a bunch of scripts completed that will now not be filmed, so what I will do, just so that the last new thing I leave for you guys isn't my Skyrim video (which I've caught a lot of flak over and really, it's no one's fault but my own and even I'll admit it's not my best work), is give you guys and gals short versions of them. Here we go!

Top 10 Worst Things I've Reviewed on CWTC
10 - Avatar: Wasn't worth the hype, a mere "ok" on first viewing with a 32" tube TV and DVD but loathed it on the second viewing on a 42" plasma on Blu-Ray...which somehow looked WORSE than the DVD.
09 - Zombieland: Criminally disappointing, dumb character motives, very unfunny and you know you're doing something wrong when a Bill Fucking Murray cameo can't save your movie.
08 - Scott Pilgrim vs The World: I take back what I said about The Last Airbender...THIS MOVIE was fucking retarded. It's Michael Cera being Michael Cera and the Street Fighter-esque fights just come out of nowhere and ruin everything.
07 - Twilight: Movie, if you're going to have this sort of a concept, try to have fun with it. I've explained how Twilight could be saved before (one book, Bella dumps Edward either because he's a douche and Bella knows she can do better or because he turned her and now she sees him as an intolerable prick and is stuck with being a vampire) and firmly stand behind it.
06 - St. Anger: Not only the worst Metallica album, but the worst metal album I've ever heard. If you ever want to hear Metallica venture into the nu-metal genre, give this one a listen and immediately regret your decision.
05 - Napoleon Dynamite: I still have no idea what this movie was trying to do and the fact that there's now an animated series makes me weep.
04 - Bullet Witch: Why is a concept so cool (and quite possibly arousing) so dull?
03 - Sucker Punch: I've never been so angry after watching a film, and I'll leave it at that.
02 - Jurassic Park: Redemption: Misunderstanding the source material worse than Jurassic Park III is a whole new level of fail. Reads like something you'd see on Syfy Channel.
01 - The Love Guru: How can this one NOT take the #1 spot? I rubbed A535 on my genitals and tried to asphyxiate myself because it was a better time than this film.

Top 10 Best Things I've Reviewed
10 - Nightmare On Elm Street: At the bottom of the best list because I do have some problems with it, but this was also the serious refresh that Freddy Krueger needed. Also I like to think that this remake had a hand in getting Freddy to be a downloadable character in Mortal Kombat...WHICH IS AWESOME!
09 - The Simpsons Movie: Showed some pretty heavy stuff with Homer & Marge's marriage that I didn't think the writers had in them anymore. Better than the episodes that are on TV nowadays.
08 - Guitar Hero: Warriors Of Rock: Best in-game track list to date, the presence of an actual story, all previous DLC works here, star challenges (and therefore, replay value) for every song. The best in the series and the send off that Guitar Hero needed.
07 - X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Uncaged Edition): A movie licensed game that is not only a good game, but better than the film its licensed from? How can it not be on this list?
06 - Iron Man 2: Sure, it's not as good as the original, but it touches base on the "Demon In The Bottle" storyline, the last half an hour kept my eyes glued to the screen and you have Scarlett Johannson destroying a hallway full of H.A.M.M.R. agents, which is the most arousing action scene ever. Interested to see how they incorporate the last few minutes into The Avengers.
05 - Killer Condom: Probably the biggest surprise on this list. I would honestly recommend this movie to anyone for the laughs and the dramatic change of tone in the last few minutes. A truly fantastic film.
04 - Toy Story 3: This one only ranks higher than Killer Condom because I love the originals and have a nostalgic attachment to the series. This may not be the best of the series, but if a movie about a cowboy doll and a spaceman action figure can generate such powerful scenes and emotions, it must be doing something right.
03 - Predators: Did what Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem could not: be a sequel, an homage and a good movie all in one clean sweep. Loved this movie and am hoping for another one down the road.
02 - X:Men First Class: Michael fucking Fassbender. Also, it's interesting to see Xavier as a swinging youngster and not the calm wise man as seen in the other films.
01 - Inception: Not trying to jump on the Christopher Nolan bandwagon with this one, but this was the only film during CWTC that I watched and thought to myself, "Y'know? I wish I had seen that in theatres."

Manliest Movie: Expendables vs Predator
Predator has the better lead character, but Expendables had a better team and female lead. That being said, Predator had the better villain and was overall the better movie.

Top 5 Reasons Why Godzilla (1998) Sucks
05 - The Soundtrack: David Arnold's score is forgettable and the two main songs used to promote the movie was a boring David Bowie cover and a song where Puff Daddy rapped over Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir." Fail.
04 - Worst. Military. Ever: You know you suck at your job when even my own grandmother says, "So there's how many of them against a creature that large and not ONE of these assholes can land a clean shot?"
03 - The Writing/Acting: The movie jumps all over the place, tries to have Matthew Broderick as an action hero (dude, Matthew Broderick), and has such winning lines as, "An island, water on all sides." Stupidest scientists ever.
02 - The Baby Godzillas: Movie goes from Godzilla to Ferris Beuhler's Day Off In Jurassic Park (as Twisted Kaiju Theatre described it) with these things. Makes the movie slow to a crawl where it's not even enjoyably bad. Here the movie shot itself in the foot while jumping the shark that actually causes itself so much pain that it travels back in time to watch itself jump the shark.
01 - The Runtime: For a movie that's only two hours long, why does it feel longer than Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King?

Jurassic Park: The Game
I actually rewrote this script because the first draft I was far too kind to it. The game has a decent story, graphics are alright (some are better than others), but some parts of the game venture into monster movie territory (which is NOT what Jurassic Park is) and the gameplay is incredibly limited. Overall, the game is okay and this would've been the last JP related entry I would have done unless something truly great came out of the series. There's nothing worse than watching the favorite part of your childhood dissolve into mediocrity (if not downright crap) over the years.

Top 7 Songs That Should Be Covered By Hard Rock/Metal Bands
Probably the strangest list I've ever come up with, and these could turn out absolutely disastrous, but we wouldn't know if they didn't try, right?
Honorable Mention - "Spice Up Your Life" originally by The Spice Girls, covered by System Of A Down: This was an idea that my bandmates and I had when I used to play bass and let's not kid ourselves, who else would be goofy enough to cover a Spice Girls song other than System?
07 - "Tears Of Pearls" originally by Savage Garden, covered by Slash ft. Darren Hayes: This would be on the bottom of the list because it's kind of a cheat, seeing as how Darren Hayes sung the original. However, I think it has the right tempo and setup that could work as a rock song. The way I see it, if Slash can make a song with Fergie work as well as it does, he can pull this off.
06 - "The Chain" originally by Fleetwood Mac, covered by Lacuna Coil: Originally this entry was going to be Boney M's "Rasputin," but "The Chain" is the far superior song. Sure, Rumors, the album that "The Chain" comes from, has been hailed as one of the ultimate break up albums, so one of the things that make it work is the fact that vocalists Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Knicks had just ended their relationship prior to the writing of the album. From what I know, Lacuna Coil vocalists Cristina Scabbia and Andrea Ferro have never dated, but they have a strong musical chemistry that they could make this song work.
05 - "More (Remix)" originally by Usher, covered by Disturbed: I know, weird right? The remix of "More" is one of the pop songs that I actually have a great deal of tolerance for and could work well if you switch out the instrumentals made on a keyboard with guitars and bass. So why Disturbed? I dunno, to be honest. Maybe it's the lyrics "I'm a beast, I'm an animal" from "More" (and the tone Usher says them) that reminds me of Disturbed's song "The Animal" that makes me vote Disturbed for this one.
04 - "Dance In The Dark" originally by Lady Gaga, covered by In This Moment: If In This Moment can cover a Blondie song as well as they do, they could definitely make this one work. When I first heard "Dance," I knew that it had rock potential. In the mean time, enjoy this remix.
03 - "Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)" Originally by Journey, covered by Iron Maiden: Come on, Iron Maiden covering Journey. Am I the only one who thinks this is a fucking awesome idea? The crunchiest Journey song I've heard, I voted Iron Maiden for this one because of all of the vocalists I could think of, I think Bruce Dickinson could do Steve Perry's style justice.
02 - "Drama Queen" originally by Suzie McNeil, covered by Halestorm: For all intents and purposes, I should hate this song because I don't usually approve of songs where the vocalists gloat about how much of a bitch they are. Suzie McNeil's "Drama Queen" is the only exception for reasons I don't fully understand. As far as a potential cover goes, I voted Halestorm because Lizzy Hale seems to have that whole "I'm-sexy-and-I-know-it" attitude (only not as annoying as LMFAO's) with songs like "I Get Off" and "Love Bites (And So Do I)", so they seem like they could do really well with this one. Besides, it's not like they haven't covered pop songs before.
01 - "The Thunder Rolls" originally by Garth Brooks, covered by Machine Head: A thrash metal band covering a country song? Before you star questioning what I'm under the influence of, hear me out. "The Thunder Rolls" is one of those songs that really takes me back and probably the only country song that I could genuinely say that I'm a fan of, despite the fact that I'm no longer a country fan. Had this list been made in 1998, I would've voted for Metallica using their cover of "Turn The Page" as a template. However, I vote Machine Head because I've been really impressed with their work as of lately and listen to their cover of Iron Maiden's "Hallowed Be Thy Name" as a template. Rob Flynn's soft singing style could really do numbers for "The Thunder Rolls" and while he usually has a very growly vocal style (ex. "Aesthetics Of Hate"), a couple growls here and there wouldn't hurt "Thunder Rolls" (I'm thinking the word "Strikes" in the chorus). Throw in a solo and Bob's your uncle. This would be one of the softer songs in Machine Head's library, but damn I think this would be cool.

So that's the last of it. For anyone who's been watching/reading my stuff from the start, I can't thank you enough for your support and feedback, whether that be good, bad or indifferent over the last two years. Cheerio!

-The Cynic

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

A Slightly Overanalytical Look At Robots

Now as you already know, I'm a father. If I've learned one thing from my 2.5 years as being a father, it's that children like repetition, especially younger ones. At one point, my son wanted to watch nothing but the Jurassic Park films, which lead to my blog about the third one. His interests has since diversified, which I'm not complaining, seeing as children need diversity as they do repetition. However, lately he's been really taking a liking to the movie Robots. Like, watching it three times in a day liking.

Rodney Copperbottom (Ewan McGregor) and Fender (Robin Williams) in disguise

Again, I'm not complaining, because Robots is a pretty good movie and I had honestly never seen it until Scholar showed it to our son. If I were to do a Stash Or Trash on Robots, it'd be a Stash, no question. However, when you watch the same movie over and over to the point where your toddler can quote the film word for word, you can't help but notice things that you didn't the first couple times or start to think a little deeper into some of the plot details encased within said film. Example:

The Chop Shop

I'm honestly willing to chalk this up to a goof on the writer's part. At one point in the movie, everyone has to hide in the alleys from a Sweeper and when Rodney asks why, Piper (Amanda Bynes) and Crank (Drew Carey) explains that Sweepers will sweep up any Outmodes (robots with discontinued parts) and take them down to The Chop Shop, where they are melted down and turned into something else. Horrifying, yes, but what I want to know is when later on in the film when Fender is caught by a Sweeper but manages to escape from the Chop Shop, he's freaking out and explaining to the rest of the characters that Sweepers are taking Outmodes to The Chop Shop, why are the rest of the characters so shocked by this revelation that they already knew? I think someone forgot to proofread this part of the script.

Just How Long Has Bigweld Been Missing?

The main plot of Robots is that Rodney moves from Rivet Town to Robot City so that he can meet his childhood idol, Mr. Bigweld (Mel Brooks), and get a job to help pay back his dad's boss. Upon arriving at Bigweld Industries, he's informed by Tim The Gateman (Paul Giamatti) that nobody gets in anymore because Bigweld is no longer in charge, giving him the advice that Rodney should come back two years ago to get the job. Okay, let's focus on that statement. So this gives the implication that things changed two years prior to Rodney's arrival, so does that mean that Bigweld's disappearance was two years ago? If so, why is Ratchet (Greg Kinnear) carrying himself like he was just appointed head of Bigweld Industries and doesn't want to hear another "Where's Bigweld?" Have people been asking him this for two years now? Then there's the bit with the Bigweld Ball, a huge ceremony that Bigweld attends every year and one of the board members says that they'll see Bigweld there. Why would Bigweld disappear for enough time to have him be declared legally dead and then randomly show up at some company ball? Aunt Fanny (Jennifer Coolidge) says, "You can't have a Bigweld Ball without Bigweld!" The Bigweld Ball seems like an annual event to me, so you mean to tell me that there hasn't been a Bigweld Ball in two years and nobody has gotten suspicious of this? Nobody? The face of Robot City just up and vanishes and no one lifts a finger about until some outsider shows up?

Gasket & Ratchet Are Total Nazis

Ratchet might be the acting head of Bigweld Industries, but he's nothing more than a puppet-on-a-string-mama's-boy, because Madamme Gasket (Jim Broadbent) is the brains behind the operation. The movie starts off like its going to be your simple "small town boy making a name for himself in the big city" story, but when Ratchet shows up, it takes on this class favoritism angle. That's pretty messed up, but then when Ratchet discontinues spare parts (on his mommy's order), he gloats to Madamme Gasket that in a couple weeks they'll be up to their elbows in broken/dead Outmodes, which brings in this even MORE messed up mass genocide angle to the story. There's one scene where the gang is trying for find a neck joint for Fender and the owner of the shop is showing off the upgrades that Ratchet is pushing. The only difference between the upgrades are the size and gender. Other than that, they all look the same. So there's two Robots corrupted by power that are trying to create their image of a perfect world and are not afraid to slaughter masses in order to achieve said goal.

Sound familiar?

Somebody call the Inglourious Basterds, because there's some Gnatzies that need a scalpin'. When I stop and think about what I've mentioned in the last few points, I have come to one final conclusion...

Robot City Would Be One Of The Worst Places To Live Ever

Sweepers are snatching up Outmodes, never to be heard from again. The world's greatest robot, Mr. Bigweld, has vanished. Citizens are preying off each other for spare parts. WHERE IN THE HELL IS THE POLICE IN ALL THIS?! How many Outmodes have been taken by the Sweepers? Where are the missing robots posters? Why has no investigation been put into any of this? Has Ratchet been paying off the police or killing any policemen trying to find out what happened to Bigweld and other Outmodes? The citizens of Robot City in the end are forced to take matters into their own hands because there is no sort of authority present in the city. The only robots wielding badges are the security guards at Bigweld Industries, so naturally they'll side with whomever is paying them.
And let's talk about that public transportation system. Whoever designed that thing was either a certified genius or an authentic whacko. Any time you took this thing would be a near-death experience. Seriously, watch it.

If those setups are off by just a fraction, you're dead. And when Fender says, "There goes my stop," HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO GET OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AIR?!

Like most aimed at kids films, Robots is one of those movies that if you think too much into it, it'll weird you out, so it's really best to just take it at face value. If anyone reading still hasn't seen it, I'd honestly recommend it. Just, don't say I didn't warn you about some of the stuff in the movie.

-The Cynic