Thursday, August 11, 2011

Asylum Mega Marathon Part 2: Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus

Wow, they aren't even trying with their taglines, are they?

Now this is what I'm talking about! Welcome to Part 2 of Coffee With The Cynic's Asylum Mega Movie Marathon, where we're talking about Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus. A follow-up to Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, the events pick up almost immediately after the first film. A naval officer (Jaleel White aka Urkel) is studying sonar frequencies while aboard a vessel trying to find the Megalodon, seeing as there was no evidence that it was actually killed during its fight with The Kraken. His frequencies accidentally cause the Megalodon to attack the ship, in which Jaleel is the only survivor. Mourning the loss of his fiance aboard, he joins a Secret Service agency to hunt down and kill the shark. Meanwhile, a wild-life tracker con-man from Africa (Gary Stretch) is hired to track and kill a large mysterious beast that turns out to be a 1500 ft. long crocodile. During a series of events, the US Navy finds themselves trying to destroy two large leviathans of the past while trying not to destroy the rest of the world with them.

I think they could've run with their original idea and it would've been equally cheesy/retarded/enjoyable.

Make no mistakes, much like its predecessor, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus is an absolutely terrible movie. However, unlike its predecessor, it was quite the enjoyable cheese ball. The effects are more phoned in, as is the acting, and the story is so stupid that it makes for quite the ride. In fact, I was having so much fun with the cheesy fun of it that I only took like a page and a half of notes. Pretty much everything needed to make a movie stupid is here. Bad accents, crap CGI (the Crocosaurus stepping on the miner made me howl with laughter), roaring sharks (it's like Jaws 4 again!), ripping off a scene and other elements from another bad but enjoyable movie (Godzilla 1998), stupid character traits, Urkel acting like a cross between Shia LeBeouf & Jeff Goldblum, Megalodon swallowing a nuclear sub! It's all here and it's gleefully enjoyable in its stupidity.

Wow, I just...I don't even know what else to say. If you enjoy hilariously bad movies, check out Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus. It's the movie that Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus should have been. Can't wait to wrap up this marathon!


Sorry for such a quick blurb, but this movie really does speak for itself. I cannot do the cheese it possesses true justice. You really just have to see it for yourself. If I didn't have another movie to watch, I'd probably watch it again.

-The Cynic


  1. Glad you liked this one more. This is probably one of my top favorite Asylum movies, ever. It's the very definition of 'Cheesy Bad Fun'. And like I said in the other Asylum Mega review, I friggin' LOVE Gary Strech in this. He has some of the best lines, and the best line deliveries in this flick - "Ha! I'm more brother then you!" "How will we know when they hatch?! Because there will be giant baby crocodiles everywhere, that's how!" The dude was the heart and soul of this flick IMO, and it wouldn't have been as 'good' if his character wasn't in it.

  2. Also, I'm gonna be a guest-host on a podcast late this month/early next month sometime (The Saturday B-Movie Reel Podcast, where they take a different low budget cheesy bad movie each episode to discuss), and we'll be discussing this movie for that episode.